All In

I'm not a gambler.  I don't even know how to play Texas Hold 'em.  But, I've thrown in all my chips on this one. I'm gambling with my future - my life.  Okay, maybe not.  Maybe I'm just overly dramatic.  I mean, how can I really know?  I am not an outer observer.  I am realistically not an impartial viewer.  But, if I had to say - things feel very dramatic right now.

Okay, so things have been worse.  But, I think sleep deprivation has a tendency to get the best of me.  I went to bed at just before midnight.  Woke up at four.  Studied.  Showered.  Studied.  Got in my car and at every damn stop-light - I studied.  Yes.  I'm probably lucky to be alive.  But, what can I do about it now?  It's over.

Lab this morning was unlike any lab.  I LOVE compounding lab under normal conditions.  But, when I'm tired AND my leur-to-leur lock has a freaking hairline fracture and shoots PLO all over my workstation AND my carboxomer polymer was apparently from the inactive bad batch the company purchased last month and wouldn't anneal AND I was on the side of the room with an electrical short on the magnetic stirrer/hot plate, I stop loving lab. Oh, did I mention that lab is timed?

Then, I went to class where the test that was printed was the wrong test.  What did the teacher have us do?  Take the test.  She said we're smart enough to compensate.  So, frustrations abound for today.  And, I'm studying for tomorrows test and all I can think is:

• tomorrow night at this time, I'll be asleep
• 20 more hours to push
• I still don't know the generic name for 20 drugs and one lecture.  I need to focus
• I get a new bed next Friday!
• hmph.  I should wear out my current bed as much as possible right now
• wow, I'm still typing.  Why am I not studying

And now, you can see why this next hour of final studying before I call it in until tomorrow at four - may turn into a much longer hour and a half.  Well, at least I have nothing to do until class at 1 tomorrow.