Cancer

It is odd.  Cancer is a clinical word used probably six to eight times a week in my classes.  It isn't something real.  It isn't tangible.  It is this overgrowth, overproduction, unhindered process.  It is something that is cellularly going out of control.  Tumor suppressor genes are no longer effective.  Apoptosis is inhibited where it should be precisely regulated.  I mean - this doesn't happen to PEOPLE - it happens to cells.  Lots and lots of cells are affected.  No human beings are harmed in the making of any of this.

Until - someone goes to an actual doctor with actual knowledge and is diagnosed with an actual disease state.  And then, it is real.  I've spent the better part of two weeks lamenting about how hard my life is progressing.  Just last night I cried most of my night away because I can't seem to grasp the endocrine system.  I was feeling so down on myself.  My world was inwardly focused.  I was insulated.  And this afternoon, I got a phone call from my mentor - a friend - someone who has been a guide since my move here.  She has cancer.

Ironically, she has tonsil cancer.  She doesn't have her tonsils, but she has tonsil cancer.  I feel so lost.  It doesn't seem fair.

I guess life isn't fair anywhere.